Favorite Indian pop songs

Last week, I came across some old Indian pop song videos on youtube which made me very very nostalgic. Ofcourse, we don't have a pop culture but during 90's some songs really made it to the top and made us believe that by the next decade we will have a parallel music industry with private music albums. Sadly, the pop songs in 2000's was only limited to the re-mixes of the old music or if there are some really good pop songs in the last few years, probably I am not in touch.

Anyway, I spent an entire Saturday just browsing through various videos of 90's and boy..I am surprised. There are a lot of memories and thanks to youtube, I could find those very rare gems which I never thought I could find them again.

Here are my top 10 favorites.

10) Choodi jo Khanke

Agreed, this is a girly song. But it was a sensation at that time and Richa is one of the girls.



9) Nigori kaisi jawani hai

This was probably from the late 80's if I am not mistaken. One of the very early pop songs that I could remember. Ila arun became a household name for such songs after this one and since this was before cable TV, parents did not have an option to switch the channels when this song was on TV.



8) Dooba Dooba

The song took it's time to catch up with people as it was too slow but when it did catch up, people were in love with the tune and video. The video had stunning visuals for it's time and too bad that this group (silkroute) did not come up with any other good songs later..



7) Afreen

Sexy.
I distinctly remember one shot where Lisa ray, in the hot sun and in a desert, wearing skimpy clothes pours sand on herself. That was too much to handle for any teenager and the haunting music and the voice of Nusrat fateh ali Khan made Lisa ray look even sexier.



6) Pyaar ho gaya

I think I was in my third year of engineering when I saw this. Sitting in my room in the lazy evenings with nothing to do, I remember watching this song over and over again whenever it played on the V channel. I remember my friend used to like this song very much but I hated this song initially but later on just fell in love with it.



5) Made in India

Ofcourse, this song has to make it's way into the list. Probably, the most iconic song of the Indian pop albums, this song must have inspired a many to venture into the pop world. I have never seen people actually buying the cassettes of a pop album in this magnitude neither before nor after this.



4) Sayonee

All I know is that this was a Pakistani song and I haven't understood the lyrics when I initially heard it and I don't understand most of it even now. But, this is intense. I can certainly feel the angst and the theme of the song and that's what matters. I fell in love madly with the song for it's sheer intensity and I think I was probably 16 or 17 then. As I did not know the band name of these guys, I couldn't find this song for years. Thanks to youtube, here it is now..



3) Ho gayi hai mohabbat

Hands down this is the most beautifully shot & probably the best romantic Indian pop song ever.
The quality of youtube does not do justice for Santosh sivan's photography.
Watching this song years later made my day and made me want to fall in love. Imagine what it would have done to the teenagers..


2) O Sanam

When I first heard and watched this song I felt that this guy must have seriously lost someone he loved in his life. This song felt so real and painful that I couldn't imagine someone just composing this song without having to feel those emotions in real life. Every image of the song, be it the women in burkhas or the guy on the camel leaving his wife in a desert, has a story to tell.



1) Paree hoon main

One of my earliest memories. I think this song made it to the scene even before we owned a TV in our home. I remember watching the song in our neighbour's home and the song used to scare me every time I saw it. The black and white images of the young girl and slow motion shots and the haunting music on the top of it just made the perfect song that I couldn't make out what it meant at my tender age. But I understood that the teacher was trying to seduce the little girl.

Sunita rao in an interview said that they didn't know what they were doing when they wrote/composed/shot this song and in all her life no matter how much effort she would put in she can never recreate that magic. I agree.

A ray of hope

I never voted in my life and I never intended to do so either. Like most of the people of my generation, I never cared enough about the current affairs, elections and politicians. I am very much into my own life and my problems and I have very little interest in what happens in assembly and parliament. The reason why me and many of us are so indifferent towards politics in general has probably got to do with our own natures but another major factor for this attitude, in my opinion, lies with the politics itself. The way our leaders talk and fight and way they make no sense at all has probably convinced all of us that no matter which political party gets the power, there will be no difference.

Last year, I closely followed the final phase of elections in United states between Mc Cain and Obama. By the time the election date came closer, I became a fan of Obama and I sincerely wished to have a right to vote in this country, which I never felt in my own country. Till then, I used to think that the indifference in me towards the current affairs in my country had to do with me and entirely me. But then I realised that, in addition to my nature, a nation's politicial system, it's media, and the way the players respect the public and more importantly themselves plays an important role in creating interest in its people. I also felt saddened by the fact that I could never come to like any one in my country like the way I felt about Obama.

And then, I came to know about Loksatta. Though, I heard about JP Narayan and watched some of his speeches, I did not know about the party itself. I can sense that this man is pure and whatever he is saying, he is saying it from the bottom of his heart. This, I have never seen in either in CBN or YSR and I can never ever expect that from Chiranjeevi. More than being pure and honest, the important thing for a politician is to be strong, clear in his thoughts, resonable and not emotional. This last aspect is clearly missing in all of the current politicians. Reason always takes the backseat and emotion, which is a dangerous thing, unfortunately is pulling the crowds.

I believe people always get the government that they deserve. We always complain about the politicians whenever we see something grossly wrong happening in the society. We conveniently forget our role in putting those people there. But most of the times, we have no option and we need to choose the lesser evil among the options available. Now, we do have an option, not just a normal option but glaringly different and clearly the best among all of the politicians. Something tells me that we will just ignore it and go back to choosing one of the other three and then start complaining again. This is not right.

I can understand when an uneducated or uninformed person votes for either CBN or YSR for favoring his caste/family etc and others voting for Chiranjeevi, who take him literally to his filmy roles. But, when an educated/working class person fails to even recognize a party like Loksatta, that is not pardonable. 

The best things that I liked in Jay prakash narayan's speeches:

• He is the first AP politician that I ever heard who acknowledged the fact that government is neither a ruling authority nor a servant to the public. It is a collection of representatives of the people.
• He did not promise any freebies like color tv's or 2 Rs rice. I always thought 2 Rs rice was a very very mean policy. Recently, I watched a video of NTR announcing the 2 Rs rice scheme to the public. There are two ways to interpret it. If you are die hard fan of NTR, you will probably be overwhelmed by his kindness. But on the other hand, he is not supposed to be KING who rules and provides gifts/freebies to his submissive public. We forget that it is his job to make sure that there does not arise a situation where people cannot spend more than 2 Rs for rice. We don't need to be grateful for such an act. I haven't seen any one remotely making that argument and acknowledge the fact that instead of giving freebies the job of the govt is to improve the life styles of people so that they don't need to be dependent on such schemes.
• The idea of having hundreds of towns and cities in our state was the most radical and probably the best I have ever heard. Today, any body who is into IT or any other high paying job has to leave his town or city and head back to hyderabad, the only city in our entire state for such opportunities. That is a shame. In any other developed country, you will hundreds of cities where you can work in almost any industry you aspire to.
• No donations from a political candidate whatsoever. Donations come from the public who are interested in his policies.
• Less talk on what others did not do and more on what his party will do.

George Carlin

"Life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel."

Know that streak of joy when you listen to somebody who puts your deepest feelings into sentences in the best way possible ? To me, George Carlin is that person.

When an old celebrity dies, it is customary to say that the world will sorely miss him, though we know for a fact that the person has nothing else to add to his career. George Carlin is a real exception to this case. When George died at 71, in addition to being sad, I felt very disappointed and a bit angry that I would have to live with the same videos that I watch over and over for the rest of my life.

Unlike most of the celebrities, George got better and better with time and he produced his best stuff when he got closer to death. I became interested in watching stand up comedies few years ago and started following some comedians and then I watched one video of George talking about religion and that was about it. I could no longer watch any other comedian. Most of the comedians narrate some funny incidents or in great detail explain about sex to get their laughs. But the real comedy of life can only be found in the miseries of daily life and society. I haven't seen anyone else who can make a comedy out of tragedies as good as George Carlin.

The early career of George to my surprise was not that impressive. He got better and wiser with age and by the time he was in 50's, his comedy tackled with serious issues like war, religion, society and the hypocrisy of Amercia and it's culture. In my opinion, he is one such person which every society needs who can tell them bluntly about their deepest fears, insecurities as clearly as one can.

After watching some of his videos, I used to find a strange sense of relief. Because, I think a lot about those issues in the same way he speaks but could never find the right words to put it across. Sometimes, you cannot express that opinion in public as it is politically incorrect to do so. Let me give some examples:

Boring People:

"God...People are fucking boring. People are just fucking boring." --George

We go to friend's homes for dinner parties and their kid's birthday parties, etc. I could never understand the fun in it. We exchange pleasantries and then they serve us the dinner and we have a very formal chat safely avoiding any issue that can cause a disagreement and discuss about our boring lives, which usually linger around your car, salary, boss at work and your kids (which I am least bothered about). I find the whole exercise and the people boring. On the other hand, I love discussing or just listening to someone who can make me feel alive. Talk about music, movies, books, politics or relationships. But nobody talks about it the way it is as we belong in a society and admitting that you have no interest in listening to other person's adventures/misadventures in life is boring to you. I found George discussing the same in many of his videos, of course he made it funny as hell. Here is one link:

Bullshit in Life:

"Bullshit is the glue that binds us as the nation". ----George
Being a kid, we believe in everything we are told. Growing up, we start questioning some things but unfortunately accept many things at face value as we are told so by some authentic sources, which could be parents, religious leaders, political figures, celebrities or the media. Religious gurus tell us we should live life with content and be always thankful to god. Political leaders assure us that they are there to help us whenever in need. Media wants to us listen to them as they are sources of truth and corporations guide us in what to buy and what not to.

If you start thinking about the things surrounding us, I bet you will sense that bullshit is everywhere and we grow up with so much bullshit around us that we fail to notice it when it right in front of us all the time.

Here are some videos of George on bullshit in America ( I think it applies everywhere)


Religion:

"Religion is the all time champion of the false promises and exaggarated claims" --George

I have been very modest about my religious beliefs since childhood like most of the people. Our parents and elders tell us to pray to the god whenever in doubt and we meekly submit ourselves. Though I never prayed consciously, I did not take the entire God and religion stuff seriously as I thought I did not have enough wisdom to think and understood such things. But slowly, I started realizing things and understood the fact that the most of the people are like me and they wouldn't have the understanding about these things as well. Religion could be a total mind control. I turned athiest gradually and started reading/listening to people who handled this issue with reason. I found Richard Dawkins, Christopher hitchens ,Bill maher and some youtube vloggers to be very enlightening speakers on these issues. But, one video of George Carlin made me forget everybody else. The above mentioned people wrote hard bound books, made documentaries and movies explaining how harmful religion could be. But nobody explained what religion actually is like way George did...It is bullshit.

After watching the above videos it is quite understable if one feels that George is a very cynical person and to a degree he might even have some sort of hatred towards mankind in general. Not true. I think, we need to be some what cynical in the current state of society if you want to cut through the bullshit and see the real nature of things. That does not mean we need to stone hearted. I always thought George had a very soft side as well and my doubts confirmed when I read the following excerpt of his.

George loved his wife and he wrote this when she died....

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up to O tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. W e plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- George

Black Friday - The book

This has to be one of the most interesting books ever. I am not a very quick reader and it usually takes me a month, on an average, to complete a book and I completed reading this book in a single day. It was that hard to put it down.

I watched the movie a couple of months ago and ordered the book right away on amazon. I was around 12 years old when the bombay blasts took place and as a kid I did not pay any attention towards this issue . Growing up, I came to know about the Babri masjid demolition and Dawood's hand in the entire operation of these blasts. However, as any normal citizen my knowledge on this issue and about Bombay underworld was very very limited. Media focusses on the issues that they think public would be interested in and that's what we finally come to listen and care about. But, in the grand scheme of things, the news that usually makes headlines in newspapers can be actually very irrelevant. 

The author has spent around 4 years in his research for completing this book and I am not surprised. It was very hard to keep track of all the names & places in the book. Half way through, I gave up on this effort and tried to follow only the important players. More than 600 people were questioned during the interrogations and nearly 175 people were directly involved in the planning of the blasts. While reading the book, I felt a deep respect and admiration towards the Bombay police and the CBI and and at times the book also made me feel ashamed of some of the people we have in these departments. From the time since these blast occurred and 1998, nearly 76000 people were booked under TADA. Anybody and everybody who was even remotely connected to this operation, that means you could a friend of friend of somebody who knew somebody who was connected to the operation,  landed in the jail.

The movie, in my opinion, spent a lot of footage on Badshah Khan and his experiences after the blast and this in the book was confined to very few pages. The entire episode of Sanjay dutt did not make it into the film and rightly so. It is funny how the media focussed their attention on such a silly issue when there were so many important events going on at that time. The chapter dedicated to bollywood made me sympathetic towards Sanjay and his family. 

The author interviewed several people from CBI, Bombay police, Bollywood and several other people directly or indirectly connected to this operation and in most cases, he reconfirmed what he found with another source. The few pages dedicated to Dawood to me was the most interesting. I googled Dawood several times before and I never came up with any more information that what I already knew. This book, though it is very few pages, provided some interesting info on him, his hobbies and his fall out with Chota rajan. 

Ram gopal varma, on his blog, mentioned about a man called Hanif Kadawala who he met at a producer's house in 1999. Hanif who had links with underworld apparently told RGV about how Chota rajan still respects Dawood even though both of them want to kill each other. This gave RGV the idea for his movie, Company. As I was very interested in knowing about underworld, I googled Hanif kadawala but could not find much information. While reading the book, when I came across this guy's name, it gave me goose bumps. However he was a small fish in the operation and he did not have any role with the actual bomb blast. But still he had to pay for his involvement with Dawood with his life. In 2001, when Chota rajan came out of Dawood's gang both the parties killed several people in each other's territory though they had very little to do with anything.

If you are even remotely interested to find some facts about the 1993 blasts don't miss this book.

Movies watched recently (bollywood)

Even after reading and listening to so many good things about some movies in Bollywood, I have been a skeptic and I tried my best to avoid watching any Hindi movie when I am at a friend's home for dinner. The last movie that I saw in a theater after reading a raving review from Taran Adarsh was Krishh. I hated that movie and hated the review even more. I thought if that movie received a 4 star rating, then I don't need to read any more reviews and nor pay attention to what people say about hindi movies. I had this feeling that all the new directors in hindi were very pretentious and were trying to make their movies look artistic and intelligent when they clearly weren't. The pretentious attitude in a movie, to me, is unbearable. On any given day, I can watch a B grade soft porn malayali movie than a movie which tries too much..

Recently while browsing through Netflix I saw several hindi movies that were available and I queued a few of them just to take another chance and boy...am I surprised. Here are a few that I really, really liked..

A Wednesday: I read the reviews and some people, with whom I normally disagree when it comes to their opinions on movies, told me that this movie was brialliant and as usually, I said I will definetly remember to watch the movie when I can and of course I ignored them. After finding it on Netflix, I queued it up and I watched it last weeek. I don't think I need to add anything more than what has been written about it already. It was brilliant. I especially loved the dialogues at the end of the movie by Nasser. A great actor indeed and the way he delivered the lines without making it sound preachy was simply awesome. (4/5)

Black Friday: I remember watching a few minutes of black friday long time ago on youtube or some other website and was immediatly bored. I thought Anurag was much better writer than a director and here he was trying too much. My Mistake. I watched the entire movie recently but this time on a big screen tv and an original DVD. The movie is nearly 3 hours long and my only complaint is that it was too short. I did not want the movie to end and I wanted to know more about the characters of Dawood, tiger menon and the attitudes, life styles of all the people involved in this tragedy. For someone like me who does not pay attention to the current affairs and politics in India, this movie was enlightening. The role of Pakistani's ISI in the bomb blasts was a real shocker.
There is a chase scene midway through the movie that was shot in Dharavi's slums which incidentally inspired Danny boyle for a similar scene in Slumdog millionare. Though Slumdog's scene was shot with better production values, the scene in Black friday looked more natural. Bombay is a world in itself and there is no other movie (except Satya) which evokes that feeling in a better way than this one. (4.5/5)

Johnny Gaddar: I liked Sriram Raghavan's earlier movie "Ek hasina thi" and I thought he was a very competent filmmaker. I knew that Johnny Gaddar would be good but did not expect it to be this good. This is really some serious first class stuff. I am sucker for film noirs and I never expected bollywood to come up with a good one. I think Mumbai is the ideal city for a setup on a film noir but unfortunately our major filmmakers project a completely incorrect version of the city. The movie had everything I love about crime thrillers. Double crosses, twists and turns, promiscuity, affairs with the wrong women etc.. This movie made me change my opinion on the new wave in bollywood and I am going to watch all the good ones that I missed in the past few years. (5/5)

Jaane Tu yaa Jaane naa: The way this movie started made me roll my eyes in disappointment . But it won me over in no time. The movie opens up with a scene where a group of friends are driving to the airport and the newbie in the group is a insensitive bitch. She does not believe in romance and life long relationships. So they start narrating a story to her to contradict her opinions. Now....at this point ...you know what is going to happen. We would see an U turn in her opinions and by the time the movie ends we know that she will be transformed into a believer in relations. This is the point you say to yourself..."Come on ..not again.."... but to my surprise, though the movie ends the way you expected it, you will be laughing with the movie but not at it. Every generation needs a coming of age love story and I think this is the one for this generation. Qayamat se qayamat tak did that for 80's and DDLJ did it for 90's. I don't think this movie was as good as them...but it was certainly very sweet and mature enough for it's content. Rahman's music was a great plus and that is no surprise. Genelia was really sweet unlike in her telugu movies where her dubbed voice gets on your nerves. (4/5)

Here are the bollywood movies that I have lined up in my queue and let me know if you guys have any recommendations :

1) Phoonk ( I love RGV and no matter how bad his movies are.. I will continue watching them)
2) Oye lucky lucky oye
3) DEV d
4) Hazooron khawashiyen aisi
5) Blue umbrella
6) Masoom (the old one)
7) Aamir

New year resolutions

I hate new year celebrations but the last few weeks of the ending of an year brings a hope in me, an excuse to jot down some resolutions and start a new life which I always keep postponing and deep in the heart knowing that I will not keep any of the promises. Well, last December was no different and I planned to write about my resolutions, "Stop procrastinating" being the top priority and ironically, I am posting this 26 days too late. So, excluding that, here are my resolutions:

1) Gain weight : This one is long long long due. Have been skinny all my life and failed on completing this thing almost every year. If I stick to the plan...Apr 2009 should be the target.

2) Blog more: Realized that this is the best way to dump the ideas/emotions/fears in my head. Should do it more often.

3) Read more: I wonder why it is that the most rewarding things in life are the tough ones to start. B0oks are rewarding than movies and good old movies are more rewarding than any of the new ones. But it is tough task to actually open a book and start the process of reading and the easiest thing to do is to watch some silly videos on youtube which you regret later. I hate why the best things always have to be so tough. Goal: make a habit of reading atleast 50 pages per day.

4) Stop fooling around on internet and getting the work done: Have been lagging behind on many assignments and now I am famous for not turning up with results by time in office. It's high time to stop it.

5) A Better photographer: Has been a dream since long time. Already decided on the gear. Come February, get some good books on this and start shooting....

6) Save some money for the big trip: Have never been a spendthrift but just start getting a little cautious on this ...Time for a dream since I came to this country to be realized...Bringing mom & dad to USA for a few months.. They have never been out of country, actually never been out of state until last year. I am so glad that I could show them some important places in India. More on this later...

7) Make a firm decision: The big question: USA or India. I love to live in this country but it comes with a hefty price of living far away from parents when they need me the most and being a stranger to my brother's kids. I almost cried when I had to leave them while coming back from last year's India trip.. Already missing a lot in this aspect...

8) Keep in touch with old friends: I have been so lucky to find some great friends during my engineering and Masters. Too bad that I have lost touch with most of them and I have no news on what is going on with my best friend from engineering.. Sad that I felt uncomfortable talking to him on the phone last time I called him.

9) Movies ofcourse: This promise I know I will keep for sure. Already made a list on some great american and foreign old movies that I wanted to watch for quite some time now. I am back with Netflix (more on this later) again...Yay ..

Fears of commitment

I am at a very crucial stage in my life and to put it mildly the way I feel everyday, I have to say I am scared shit less. The reason: I am 27 and my dad is anxious to get me married ASAP and I don't want to. The reasons for why I don't want to is something I tried to explain to my dad only to find that it is an impossible task to make him or for that matter anybody else understand what I feel about such things. So, I have been trying hard to put my feelings on paper .. let's see how it goes..

1) What about feelings, emotions??
We take several decisions in life and we reach the final decision by considering all the rational possibilities of pros and cons. However, when it comes to things like who we want to get married, love and make our friends, I always thought we don't take a conscious decision by weighing the pros and cons of the person but it just happens and your heart tells you what to do. For instance, we don't ask what caste a person is and what their family background and social status is before making anybody our friend. We know that is very cruel and that is the whole point why I detest the very idea of an arranged marriage. The marriage broker has a checklist of things (caste, jobs, family background, educational background) and person who has passed all these checks, per our parents and society, is a deserving candidate. So, two people who have same qualifications and who draw the same salary and are from the same caste, they are then equally qualified to be somebody's bride? Doesn't something sound really wrong??

I say this because most of my friends and me are very similar when you compare our qualifications and yet each one of us is a world apart when it comes to ideas/feelings/personalities/emotions etc. Aren't these the criteria that you look for when you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody and we know that it is not the case when you actually think about it in a scenario of a typical arranged marriage. You hardly get to know the person before you tie the knot and anybody who thinks otherwise is fooling themselves. A couple of phone calls cannot make you understand a person.

The whole idea and process that goes behind an arranged wedding kills the romance between a man and a woman and marriage, to me ,is the final nail in the coffin to it.

Recently, I was asked to say Yes or no to marry a girl who is from our family but who I never interacted with. My dad's logic that since she is from the same family and brought up the same way that I was, we should be a perfect match for each other. That sounded outright stupid to me and I convinced myself that since my dad is a little old school and considering his view of the world and his generation's ideas, it is not really surprising that he thinks that way. What really irritates me is when people of my age group talk this way. I cannot control my seething anger in situations like those. Of course, I said No but I was left very disappointed and every day since then, I feel dejected about the fact that I could not make my father understand why I really rejected that match.

2) Security & Expectations
Just as I am typing this, a colleague stopped by my desk and he is worried about the all hands meeting that is scheduled for next week. Rumor is that our company will be laying off several employees and many people here are a little scared. Honestly, I am a little worried about it too but not nearly as much when compared to the others. Not because I am a brave person (which I am not) but because of the fact that I am not liable to anybody but myself if I don't have a job and if don't make enough money. I was indeed planning on spending 2 weeks just chilling out if we ever get laid off and then start looking for the next project. But till that happens, I am not a least bit worried about it. But will it be the same, if I was in a relationship, worse an "arranged relationship"?

What if your spouse expects that you always have a well paying job and not be lazy sitting around watching movies ? People say that you should really love people for what they really are, but what if your spouse is not that person? They don't really care for this criteria when checking off the list of things you need in your spouse, do they??

3) Being Strangers:

Probably I have been just ranting over and over with some petty issues which stems from my fear of commitment but the most scary thing for me in a marriage is that I could be a complete stranger to my spouse even after living together for decades. I see this happening in many families and this could be the biggest tragedy.

Roger Ebert, a favorite film critic of mine, in one of reviews said, "Don't ever marry a person who does not share the same tastes in movies as you." I think he was pretty serious when he said it. Though it sounds funny, I think it is true. I find many people with whom I cannot discuss certain movies, books and ideas. Not that I am belittling anybody's emotional ranges but it's just that you cannot connect with some people no matter how long you know or live with them. For instance, out of thousands of acquaintances and friends I made through out my life, there are only two people with whom I can really have a discussions when I am really sad or happy. I think it is true for most of the people as well. Each of us have very very friends with whom you can share your deepest fears and feelings. So, I wonder what the possibility of finding such a person is. This is my greatest fear.